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Fox News сообщает: После запуска Большого Адронного Коллайдера в различных местах планеты наблюдается появление необычных организмов, до сегодняшнего дня неизвестных современной науке. Мы обратились за консультацией к Гордону Фриману, главному специалисту Европейского Центра Ядерных исследований по неклассическим формам жизни:
- Есть основания полагать, что мы имеем дело с так называемыми хэдкрабами, причем наиболее опасной их разновидностью, хэдкрабами черными зубастыми. К сожалению, мне не чем утешить ваших читателей, эти существа с бешеной скоростью поглощают печенье и охлажденную говядину и я не исключаю развития продовольственного кризиса планетарных масштабов! Необходимо немедленно прекратить работу коллайдера, иначе катастрофа неминуема!
- Спасибо, Гордон, будем надеяться на лучшее...
Представители правительственных органов заявляют, что оснований для паники нет, но в сложившихся обстоятельствах общественность не может доверять таким утверждениям.
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"These are people without a previous psychiatric history who are coming in and telling us they've lost their jobs, they've lost sometimes their homes, they can't provide for their families, and they are becoming severely depressed," said Dr. Felicia Smith, director of the acute psychiatric service at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.
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"We've seen actually more very serious suicide attempts in that population than we had in the past as well," she said.
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Compounding the problem are patients with chronic mental illness who have been hurt by a squeeze on mental health services and find themselves with nowhere to go.
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"The more I see these patients, the more I realize that if it's sleeting and raining outside, the emergency room is the only place they have," said Dr. R. Corey Waller, director of the Spectrum Health Medical Group Center for Integrative Medicine in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
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Government agencies such as the National Institutes of Mental Health, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration could not provide fresh data on use of psychiatric services in recent years.
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The National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors (NASMHPD), an organization of state mental health directors, estimates that in the last three years states have cut $3.4 billion in mental health services, while an additional 400,000 people sought help at public mental health facilities.
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In that same time frame, demand for community-based services climbed 56 percent, and demand for emergency room, state hospital and emergency psychiatric care climbed 18 percent, the organization said.
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If the economy doesn't improve, next year could be worse because many community mental health agencies are cutting programs and using up reserve funds, says Linda Rosenberg, president of the National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare.
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If the economy doesn't improve, next year could be worse because many community mental health agencies are cutting programs and using up reserve funds, says Linda Rosenberg, president of the National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare.
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In North Carolina, the state has cut its inpatient psychiatric capacity by half since 2005, says Dr. Bret Nicks, an emergency physician at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem and a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians.
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"Now you are adding in patients who are unsafe to leave but yet have nowhere to go," he said. "I consider patients with acute psychiatric needs as really the forgotten patient population in the U.S. right now."
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